Life has been busy. Crazy. Wonderful. Blessed.
I turned my last college class in on Saturday which was both scary and a relief. I fried my brain last week and so this week was dedicated to cleaning, laundry, music practice, and sleeping. Yes, sleeping. Nap time has never felt so good.
Today I walked by the bookshelf we have in the hall and stopped and stared at it a moment. "That looks tacky" I said, motioning to the sheet music that was stashed on the bottom two shelves. So, I stopped right there and organized it. Sorting through old music I came upon violin music from 9 years ago. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and the "String Builder" book. I laughed. We used to think that music was so incredibly hard...and it was...at the time.
Stephanie and I still play violin and it's amazing to see how our many years of practice have paid off. Last Sunday was our yearly violin recital and all four of us participated. Natalie accompanied the students on piano, Christina performed a viola piece, and Stephanie and I each played a violin piece. Christina has been studying viola from the same teacher for over 6 years and I for 5 and Stephanie for 3. We really have a good relationship with our teacher and she has pushed us and we've grown.
I have to admit that I haven't always enjoyed playing the violin. In fact....I downright hated it for a few years. I wanted to quit. I wanted to do anything but practice. Lessons were torture and many times I'd be fighting back the tears. Why? I wasn't good enough for my standards. I didn't play just for the fun of it. No, I had to be perfect, but I wasn't. I never will be. I don't have that kind of talent for it. Instead of just accepting that and doing the very best that I can do, I just preferred to continue despising lessons and playing. But then, sometime last year, God showed me my sin in this area. He showed me the point of my playing and how fun it can be. I decided that I'd learn to love it again. After hating it for such a long time, it took a bit of effort to change my habitual bad attitude regarding it, but there has been no going back.
Stephanie is better than me, but I don't mind anymore. Last Fall in our orchestra, when we joined, Steph and I were both placed in the 2nd violin section. Then, she was moved up to the 1st section while I stayed in 2nd. I didn't mind; the 1st violin music was difficult! But then, I was also moved up to 1st and I began the challenge of learning tough pieces. I had to really work at it, but I did it; I performed our last concert sitting in the 1st violin section.
New music was passed out a few weeks ago and it's going to be a challenge. Many times I've wanted to ask if I could move back to 2nd. But, that would be giving up. I may sit in the very last chair in the 1sts, but, moving back to the 2nds would be a defeat. And there is a way to fight this-it's a lovely little word called practice. One of my goals for the summer is to practice these pieces until I know them so well that my heart doesn't skip a beat when it get to the 32nd notes in 7th position. AH!!! :-)
I thank God so very much for giving me the ability to play and the opportunity to take lessons. He pushed me through my perfectionist attitude and brought me to love this instrument. Twinkle
Twinkle Little Star was Mount Everest to me 9 years ago...but today it is an ant hill. Those 32nd notes in 7th position are a huge ocean that I have to swim today, but tomorrow...tomorrow they'll be a little grain of sand that I'll crush under my foot. Well, at least that is the hope. :-)
What is your Mount Everest? How will you climb it? Without God you'll fall time and time again like I did. But with God you'll soon be at the top and looking back at how far you've come. If you hate Mount Everest you'll miss the beauty of the climb and the satisfaction of persevering.
Climb and Conquer. With God all things are possible.